Friday, 29 July 2011

Holiday me, At home me



After my healthy lunch of Toblerone and paprika chips from the overpriced tat shop, I went back to the beach to work on looking less like a beluga whale. There are some flaws to applying your own suncream to your back. I’m going to start looking ‘special’ soon. Anyway, after lengthy but futile application of suncream and armed with; water, beach towel, ipod, two books, keys, spare phone, hairbrush, suncream, hat and snorkel gear, I headed down the steps of my room to the beach. Once there I discovered I had no sunglasses and had to go back. I did this dressed only in my bikini. 
It occurred to me as I was coming down the stairs thusly, on what is a main thoroughfare through the island, how I wouldn’t be caught dead like this at home. Essentially what I’m wearing is a non-padded, non underwired bra and some brightly coloured lycra knickers that scream –look at my arse! I’ve looked better. I also have with me a straw cowboy style hat that I know I shall never wear again when I’m home. Here it’s great.
At home my breakfast consists of a daily mug of chocolate Nesquik. Here, I have a buffet breakfast of tea AND orange juice. I also have at least two courses. There is the ‘savoury’ part of hash browns, grilled tomato, toast, beans and eggs and then the breakfast ‘dessert’ of croissants, nutella, mini doughnuts, pastries and fruit. Some people shove it all on one plate. To me that is barbaric. My sister says the secret to half board is to stuff yourself at breakfast until you feel sick, and then lay in the sun until the sick feeling wears off. I have followed this plan to a certain extent but am now stealing an apple at breakfast and having a 5pm drink with bar snacks before dinner. Today’s lunch of toblerone and crisps was fit for a king.
Tonight is the first night I have been in anyway ‘holiday experimental’ with my clothes. I’m wearing a dress I bought from the Next online sale. Never worn it. It’s a difficult length and is sheer and multi coloured. We’ll see if I like it or not. On my last holiday here I dressed like an absolute moron. Why on holiday you should abandon all the rules you usually follow at home is anybody’s guess but I did it too.
At home I’d kick up a stink if I was served tea without milk. Here I think I look ‘European’ and sophisticated so I drink it black.
Today I resisted the tat in the shop. Last holiday we came home with half a suitcase full of it. I have bought myself one single carved fish to go with the two from the last trip. This way, I’ll HAVE to keep coming back to build a collection.
It’s my sister’s birthday today. I looked in the shop with her in mind. Bloody hell. Unless she wants some stupidly ornate shell vase or a ludicrously priced bejeweled calculator, she’s out of luck. I’ll get her something when I get home. 

Something I am universally agreed on is poor behaviour from children in restaurants. Never ok. Never acceptable. 

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