Bravado

 Bravado is defined thus; pretended courage or defiant confidence when one is really afraid

Somebody made me very mad today, hit my dog, swore repeatedly at me and raised his fist at me. All the time I stood my ground, not swearing or backing down. Nobody hits my dog. 

Afterwards, when the woman, who I can only assume was his carer, dragged him away, did the upset kick in. Until then I was running on bravado and adrenalin- (note to Universe- this sort of adrenalin rush was NOT what I had in mind). 

My dog is fine fortunately- an expensive 5 minute visit to the vets has confirmed this. I, on the other hand am fuming but relieved that I have not got a broken nose/jaw etc. 

I've never been in a fight. Not even close - but I will always stand my ground and fake the confidence until the other party is out of sight - and then I will lose it. ha ha- what bravery.

A few years ago some stupid drunken girl stood all over my foot in a club and I was displeased. I told her she had stood on my foot and that 'sorry' was the usual response. She was so horridly drunk that her reaction was to call me all manner of names, tell me she had a degree???? and then lunge at me with her talons. Hmmm- not quite what I had hoped for. Some bouncers were there, and for once, actually stepped in and dealt with the correct party. She was removed, I kept my cool. 

It amused me some weeks later when she turned up at my regular kickboxing class and was a beginner. I had been there some years and was wearing a belt of such a colour that clearly demonstrated I could kick her arse. 

She never showed up again.

I think I probably won't go and take my rage out on the punchbag- my book, 59 Seconds, says this has the opposite effect, and maybe my broken finger is proof of this. Instead I may make muffins and watch Project Runway.http://www.bravotv.com/project-runway

I love it. Genius television. 

Rant over. But seriously, don't EVER hurt my dog. You will have to sleep with one eye open.

A leopard will never change its spots

Today I feel let down. I am hugely disappointed and upset. It does not help that I am exhausted and my Thursday night did not help this. I had to call the police out at 3am Friday morning as there was a nasty domestic going on next door...culminating in him shouting "Do you need an ambulance?"  Arsehole.

Anyway, I am let down and furious. I have not decided what I will do about this yet as I don't wish to be reactionary. I heard something yesterday that I was not meant to hear and it was about me. It was not nice, but more importantly it was untrue.
It was also about my work. I may not be a perfect human being. I may have flaws. I do. I am good at my job. I am very good at my job.
I heard that I needed to embrace creativity and become less 'static'. I am fuming. My work is so beyond static I cannot say. I am so very upset.
Evidently I write in short abrupt sentences when I am upset!

The person saying this was the very person who should have been backing me up and talking about my very creative work. They did not. Walls have ears. I have not decided yet whether I confront her. I want to. She will be cross I have heard this and try and turn this on me. I will not let her. I think I am the injured party here.
This happened to me several years ago. I was not backed up by this person over something I absolutely should have been. I said then I would never trust her again. Leopards do not change their spots. 

A short entry, but I am still debating my response and my reaction. But rest assured there will be one.