If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all

Nearly five years have passed and in that time I've spoken to my elderly neighbours on 3 occasions. The first time they'd soaked my kitten in water while he was in MY garden. When I confronted them, they denied it, despite the water all over my path and that the old man was holding a hose.
The conversation ended with me saying 'Oh well, whatever!' and him at 40 years my senior, repeating it. Well done, bravo!
Then I think about three years passed and we never spoke. This winter, the guy sprayed my window with anti freeze on a particularly icy day and I thought - ah, hooray, I have a reasonable neighbour again.
Then this evening, I pulled up, and his miserable old bag of a wife said;
"Are you the lady whose garden backs on to ours?"
"yes"
"Can you do something about your brambles?, I keep catching myself"
"Yes, when I have time I will." and I smiled.
She then repeats her same gripe 3 times and I point out she has done so and that I will do it when I have time. She then says she has only just mentioned it and I say, yes, three times in that last sentence.
I said I worked full time and had higher priorities than these brambles and she then started slating my profession and said I was a typical teacher and that she'd known a wrong 'un once.
I said I was doing my best with my busy worklife and she said she did her best as an 'old lady of 76 with a husband who had cancer'. This irritates me because it's hardly the point and I don't appreciate this sort of emotional blackmail over a few thorns. I have done them, but I don't appreciate bullied into it by that sort of thing. That is off.
When I did go out this evening, I cannot work out how on earth she is catching herself and can only conclude she is a damned retard or, a petty minded, pathetic old cow with nothing better to do than moan at me. This surprises me when her husband is so ill. I'm always amazed at people's priorities in these times. You'd think she'd want her neighbours' help, friendship and support. Not to ostricize them. Had she just asked once, politely without slating my career and me generally, I wouldn't be writing this now. But I am.
In the meantime, I will teach children to read and write, learn sign language and become a volunteer.
She can tend to her bloody roses.

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows

 I've not written anything for a while because the weather has been too nice. Not weather conducive to wanting to rant and blog. Neither for that matter writing reports, but I HAVE to do those.
I bought myself some scary white trousers this week. I say scary because I  own a filth magnet of a dog and work with young children. In my infinite wisdom, I intend to wear them tomorrow (eek) but I'm going to do it, regardless of the danger because they are about as summery as clothing gets. Now I just have to wait the 4 weeks for my Fake Bake and I shall look the part properly.
I have sat in my garden reading for much of the day after a weekend of strawberry picking and pub with friends, dog walks and Italian markets. The Italian market is usually a bit of a free for all, but as England were being thrashed by Germany 4-1, it was quiet and relaxed.
It's been good. I have even inflated the paddling pool I bought for my dog 2 years ago and which he has forever shunned. I think if I threw in some mud, algae and left it there for a few weeks, he'd find it an altogether more appealing prospect. But the clean, cool water, he shuns.
Tomorrow is meant to be nice again so perhaps by then it won't be hideously cold to dip my feet in.
It's also been my birthday this week and after last years very exciting surprise trip to see Derren Brown, I didn't expect it to be topped. But it was. I had a great day. I really feel like life is going in the right direction.
I also don't mind too much being told how well I look. I am well, better than ever.
The trouble is with this sort of weather, it leaves me feeling so very content, that I crave more of it and start to wish I lived this way all year round. I do so very much want to be in a sunny climate. The winter makes me miserable and the sun just makes me feel that every second must be cherished as all too soon, it is gone and I will be back in my winter coat. My sister is making plans to move to sunnier climes again and my other sister has just returned from 2 weeks in Egypt. As yet, I have no holiday booked. Perhaps I'll be spending all my summer with my feet in a paddling pool, rather than an infinity pool drinking mojitos!!
I am also sending in two applications this week. One to become an AST. At last an opportunity has arisen and I have it well and truly in my sights, and second, to become a volunteer.
Though I rant and bemoan little things, I have it pretty good and it's time to give a bit back.
Sunshine lollipops and rainbows everything...

Eating Humble Pie

Admitting you're wrong is not an easy thing to do. Saying sorry when you've made an error is not easy either. I have had to do both and say it to someone I have NO time/respect or anything else for. Ugh. I do not like the taste of Humble Pie, my body rejects it.
It is entirely my own fault and I broke a rule of not reacting before thinking it out properly first. Responding in annoyance to something is not the right way to deal with it and I should have learnt that I get myself in trouble this way.
I have had to apologise to my local MP for saying he quoted me inaccurately. Further looking into things has revealed that the template letter I sent him last month, DOES in fact say what he said it does. Might have been more useful for me to have discovered this before I told him I objected to being misquoted.
I was enormously cross with myself because I look exactly like the arse he wants me to.

Thus I have APOLOGISED.
Oh and it hurt.
I have had to say that I have realised my mistake and that I hope he will accept my apologies. This was the only way my mother and I could see I could deal with this and look less of an arse. This way, I am the BIGGER person.

I do not like it. It feels wrong to apologise to the pompous ass but it is the right thing to do.
Lesson learned, I will be more careful next time.

Being ible

My ideas about what I want in life have changed a lot in the last couple of years. I talk a lot in this blog about what it is I want and don't want. What is on my list is 'ible' or possibly 'able'.
My sister found herself these qualities in a man a good 13 years ago. He is;

• sensible
• responsible
• reliable
• dependable
• reasonable 

 He is a good egg. 

At the weekend, I went to see my old university friends. I had a great time. They are a great bunch of people and 11 years after we graduated, I still think I was very lucky to have befriended those people.
One of the group is my boyfriend from the first year and some of the second. I told him I was writing this blog. We're good friends still which is great and I wanted his opinion because he's clever at English! He asked me if I'd written bad things about him on my blog. I laughed.
Not at all. I have great respect for him- always will, and not just because he might read this!

We may not have been destined for a lifelong love but one of the things I really appreciated about him was his dependability. In the days before mobile phones were in everyone's posession, we had..............the land line. In the Summer months, because we lived on opposite sides of the country, we'd ring each other every other day.
I knew that when he said he'd ring, he would. Never let me down. I felt very secure. We wrote to each other too. How archaic that seems now, but it was nice. I have a note he left me once- it reads;
Milk is in the fridge, the £5 I owe you is in Hobgoblin's till. It makes me laugh, - I did get the money and the milk!

At work this week I have been irritated to the point of distraction by my SMARTboard which has decided to 'crap-out'. Many phone calls to the manufacturer and the company who service it have led to our secretary using the bad 'f' word at work today.
YES we have checked it's plugged in,
YES, we have tried orienting the board
YES, all the leads are in the right sockets etc etc.

Sadly I have become too dependent on this board and so for this week, I've been a little lost. I have no chalk, I cannot access the content of my memory stick for phonics....I have to try and recall life before the SMARTboard.
The SMARTboard is not ible or able.

Apparently neither is the man who installed it. I was asked to find a button in the bottom right hand corner. I was on the phone while my class changed for PE, on my hands and knees trying to find the button he described;
"No, I cannot get behind it, it's 2mm away from the heater."
"Oh dear, it's meant to be far from heat sources!" the man on the other end of the phone (in 6th phone conversation of the day) immediately agrees to send round an engineer.

Miss Independent

 I like to think of myself as independent. I supported myself through university which I began at 19, and have done so ever since. I take care of all the financial matters and did so throughout my marriage.
I very much enjoy living on my own which I've done for over a year and a half. I was thinking today about how I'd manage if I did not have to be so independent. I wonder if I'd like it?

There are some things of course which I cannot do at all. I am ABSOLUTELY HOPELESS at anything DIY. When my washing line came down last Summer and the hook screwed into the wall was completely useless, I attempted to fix it myself. This was a mistake. My first port of call was Homebase where I stood for a remarkable number of minutes browsing the quite astonishing selection of No More Nails products. Eventually I narrowed it down to two products, both of which said they were for outdoor use. On getting these things home, my first error became immediately obvious. I had puchased a bottle of the No More Nails, but no dispensing trigger. This left me with two options, return to Homebase to buy one, or settle on using the product I had now decided was slightly less suited to the job. I opted for the latter.

Several hours later when I had filled the hole with this putty, I read the back of the tube more carefully and discovered that the putty was designed not to set hard. The hook moved about quite freely and the putty showed absolutely no sign whatsoever of hardening. Remarkably, the washing line is still up and can hold a full line of my clothes. I do not wish to know how it achieves this apparently impossible feat.

Whilst we are on the subject of my poor decision making skills, I will tell you about the time, also last Summer, when I had been refused alcohol at one supermarket and had to get my mum to buy it for me in another...yes I'm in my 30's.
I had decided to drink Vodka Collins in the garden and enjoy the sun.
I did enjoy the Vodka Collins but soon attracted the attention of several wasps. This spoilt the ambiance and so I thought about diverting their attention. My solution was to put a jar of honey on the fence several feet away. The short term effect was fine.
However, the next morning when I had failed to bring it indoors, I opened the curtains to see that my garden, and entrance to my garage/car etc had become Wasp Central. I was horrified, especially as the fence separates my garden from my neighbour with a five year old child. I used a stealth like approach with a lid and chose my moment carefully to put it on the jar.
Unfortunately this drove the wasps quite mad and created an even bigger problem so I was forced to use a very long stick to dislodge the lid from a reasonable distance and wait the long hours it took for the wasps to finish the honey. I won't try this technique for wasp distraction again and I do not recommend it to you.

Other DIY incidents have resulted, fortunately not in my trying to deal with them, but ringing my mum in tears and then running round to my neighbour for help. Not terribly independent.

I have a bit of a tendency to 'big-up' my independence.
A few glasses of Pimms and some sparkling wine leave me a bit self righteous when it comes to my recent lifestyle changes. On the hen weekend, I proudly talked about my phone call from Channel 4, my signing up to be a volunteer, enrolling for BSL etc. I also mentioned my job interview in York, and that I'd spent two nights there in order to see the sights as it's such a long way to go. On my first night, I arrived in time for bed, the second evening I had breezed the interview and was left with not a lot to do. I told the girls that I'd impulsively joined a ghost tour, which was true but was more about my not wanting to be alone in York in my hotel room, and less about independence. They were impressed nontheless, so I added the weekend Buddhist retreat I did last year too. I did that alone. They think I am very brave now so I talked a lot of rubbish about taking opportunities and grabbing life.

I probably talk far too much, I am not shy in coming forward with my opinions and I do like my freedom and independence. I am never the easy option.

Posting this again because it's important.

http://e-activist.com/ea-campaign/clientcampaign.do?ea.client.id=122&ea.campaign.id=6614

Lobby your MP re the Hunting Act. Hunting is outdated, cruel and totally unwanted by the majority of people.

Life-changing mail boxes

 I posted a letter this evening to the local deaf centre. I have enrolled for BSL1 which starts in September. I am really excited about this because it's been one of my goals for a long time - it's number 6 on the 101 Goals list, and I am sure it will be a good move career wise.
As I put it in the box, I thought about all the other letters I've posted in there and from my email box that have changed aspects of my life. The very simple task of pressing 'send' or putting that envelope into that red box has enormous power. At this point, you will either be thinking I am insane and wonder why must I ponder everything so deeply, or you will be with me.
Into my village post box, I have sent letters to my solicitor regarding my dog, my divorce etc, letters to court, letters to television production companies and many more that have had big impact on my life. My email is the same. I have sent overseas job applications, told my local MP exactly how I feel about hunting, told Nick Clegg exactly how I feel about his part in it, signed up for 3 mile races, got in touch with people after many years of silence, and most recently, volunteered myself.
Last week I registered with a volunteering service. In a moment of interference in a friend's life, I suggested he curb his drinking and moaning he is bored all the time by volunteering. Instead, he went to the pub and continues to moan that he is bored and I have signed up. Thus far, I've had my welcome letter and the woman I'm meant to liase with keeps ringing me at funny times and we have missed each other 5 times. Anyway, it'll work out and I'm excited about another new chapter in my life.
I did another spot of interfering tonight with a different friend who I have some ideas for. I think it's time for a new chapter in her life too. I am very keen for her to become as successful as she's trying to become and without being a giant pain in the arse, I'm interfering. I hope my posts to her this evening will change her life for the better.
My sister is doing some life changing posting this week too. Yesterday she contemplated a new country of choice to live in, this morning she applied for a job by email, by the early afternoon, they called her. She has been using my 101 goals idea but the Universe is working quicker for her than me! 

At the weekend my best friend and I tried to describe each other in 3 words. She said mine were;
Loyal
Outspoken
Goal Orientated
My posting online and in the red box this week have been all about those things.

Marking the Occasion

 I have just been away on a hen weekend. I had a good time, despite thinking I would not. It was much more relaxed than I anticipated and I met up with another friend there too. We were of course marking the end of the single life of one of our friends as she prepares to get married. There were some loud moments and there are now some embarrassing photos. My own hen do was a much quiter affair. I am not into dares/dancing on tables and being handcuffed to all and sundry. Not that the weekend I just went on was too raucous, just louder than my own. It didn't help that we started on the champagne and Pimms at around half ten am on the way down. At half one the next morning, most of us had crashed and burned and only two of us were still standing. Remarkably, one was me.
We spent our second day recovering with a greasy breakfast and some sea breeze, ice creams, girly chat etc.
During our Saturday night out meal, I realised looking round the table of 10 girls, I am the only singleton. I didn't know how I felt about this. The others are in in long term relationships. Some have children, some are married, some about to be. I am none of the above.
While we were on the beach, the hen was talking about adding to her tattoo collection. I wondered about getting one myself. Perhaps to mark the beginning of new chapters in my life and endings of old. I don't know what I would have or where I would have it, but it's a thought. Two of my siblings have tattoos. I have always said I would not get one, now I find myself reconsidering this statement. I am fickle. However, I am certainly not going for a too visible one or a tramp stamp.There will be no Chinese symbols for me or dolphins on my shoulder. I have considered getting MMX to mark the year, but if the rest of it turns out to be rubbish, I'll regret that. Maybe I'll get Hello Kitty on my hip? That will look sophisticated when I'm 70. 
My friend is decorating this week. Her house is now ex husband free and she's making it her own. I think this is good. These actions are good for the soul and good for the universe. Tells it you're ready to shut old doors. I did it too and it made a huge difference to the house and my feelings about it. Without wishing to sound like an insane hippy, the house has better energy.
I also went to see SATC 2 last night. Our girly group mark these occasions with dinner and cocktails. How original, but what fun. It had it's good bits- namely the bits with Aidan who was the man Carrie should have been with...mmmmmm Aidan. But it was not that great. What it did make me think about though was that I'm ok at the moment. I don't want to be watching TV on the sofa every night. I have so much freedom at the moment and I love it. I'll think about how I mark this happy point in my life.