Bridget Bread

 In my last week at work, we had a tea party at school which was entirely catered for by the children. Each class prepared something different. For one class it was sandwiches. As staff we had to go and get everything for our mass catering session. Two of us doing the catering, live alone. We have no idea how much a bog standard sliced loaf is. Not because we don't eat bread, but because we buy Bridget Bread.
Bridget Bread is those small 3/4 size loaves for those who live alone. Even with this size loaf, I inevitably end up giving a fair bit to the pigeons.
Shopping and queueing up at the checkouts at the supermarket is a revealing thing. You can make a lot of observations about someone by what's in their trolley/basket. Tesco could learn a lot from me. I think I make better jugdements than they do. For a while, they assumed I had become a parent and sent me all manner of things about babies and becoming a parent. They had based this assumption on the fact that I purchase Baby Wipes. I buy them because they are an all purpose wonder tool. They clean my face, my hands after I fill my tyres with air, spillages of nail polish...they are indispensable. Whoever at Tesco decides you have had a baby because you have purchased Baby Wipes is an idiot.
"YES, everything I need for my helpless infant is here in this moist wipe. I have no need for nappies, food, lotion, cotton wool etc etc. It is all here in this wonder wipe!" 
However, I am obviously a singleton. I buy Bridget Bread, I buy a 2pt bottle of semi skimmed milk, and apart from cake ingredients, I rarely buy food which I will have to prepare from scratch. I cannot see the point, and neither do I have the time to slave over a meal for an hour just for me. Unlike the L'oreal advert...It's not worth it.
More revealing about my home status is the fact that I never take advantage of any fresh ingredient BOGOF offers. I would end up binning it. I do the frozen or cupboard ones, but not fruit, veg, chiller cabinet or the like. Why do they never offer me BOGOF make up or CD's?
I went around to my neighbour's house yesterday. She had taken in a dress for me which I bought some years ago, wore to a wedding, then lost a stone so it fell down every time I tried it afterwards. I stayed for a cup of tea. They have two types of milk- she likes full fat, him semi skimmed. They talked to me about the garden and the fact that the hedgehog family are enjoying the slugs which in turn are enjoying the plants. She has suggested slug pellets, but he refuses to kill anything in the garden.
I never argue over my Bridget Bread.

Miss Independent

 I like to think of myself as independent. I supported myself through university which I began at 19, and have done so ever since. I take care of all the financial matters and did so throughout my marriage.
I very much enjoy living on my own which I've done for over a year and a half. I was thinking today about how I'd manage if I did not have to be so independent. I wonder if I'd like it?

There are some things of course which I cannot do at all. I am ABSOLUTELY HOPELESS at anything DIY. When my washing line came down last Summer and the hook screwed into the wall was completely useless, I attempted to fix it myself. This was a mistake. My first port of call was Homebase where I stood for a remarkable number of minutes browsing the quite astonishing selection of No More Nails products. Eventually I narrowed it down to two products, both of which said they were for outdoor use. On getting these things home, my first error became immediately obvious. I had puchased a bottle of the No More Nails, but no dispensing trigger. This left me with two options, return to Homebase to buy one, or settle on using the product I had now decided was slightly less suited to the job. I opted for the latter.

Several hours later when I had filled the hole with this putty, I read the back of the tube more carefully and discovered that the putty was designed not to set hard. The hook moved about quite freely and the putty showed absolutely no sign whatsoever of hardening. Remarkably, the washing line is still up and can hold a full line of my clothes. I do not wish to know how it achieves this apparently impossible feat.

Whilst we are on the subject of my poor decision making skills, I will tell you about the time, also last Summer, when I had been refused alcohol at one supermarket and had to get my mum to buy it for me in another...yes I'm in my 30's.
I had decided to drink Vodka Collins in the garden and enjoy the sun.
I did enjoy the Vodka Collins but soon attracted the attention of several wasps. This spoilt the ambiance and so I thought about diverting their attention. My solution was to put a jar of honey on the fence several feet away. The short term effect was fine.
However, the next morning when I had failed to bring it indoors, I opened the curtains to see that my garden, and entrance to my garage/car etc had become Wasp Central. I was horrified, especially as the fence separates my garden from my neighbour with a five year old child. I used a stealth like approach with a lid and chose my moment carefully to put it on the jar.
Unfortunately this drove the wasps quite mad and created an even bigger problem so I was forced to use a very long stick to dislodge the lid from a reasonable distance and wait the long hours it took for the wasps to finish the honey. I won't try this technique for wasp distraction again and I do not recommend it to you.

Other DIY incidents have resulted, fortunately not in my trying to deal with them, but ringing my mum in tears and then running round to my neighbour for help. Not terribly independent.

I have a bit of a tendency to 'big-up' my independence.
A few glasses of Pimms and some sparkling wine leave me a bit self righteous when it comes to my recent lifestyle changes. On the hen weekend, I proudly talked about my phone call from Channel 4, my signing up to be a volunteer, enrolling for BSL etc. I also mentioned my job interview in York, and that I'd spent two nights there in order to see the sights as it's such a long way to go. On my first night, I arrived in time for bed, the second evening I had breezed the interview and was left with not a lot to do. I told the girls that I'd impulsively joined a ghost tour, which was true but was more about my not wanting to be alone in York in my hotel room, and less about independence. They were impressed nontheless, so I added the weekend Buddhist retreat I did last year too. I did that alone. They think I am very brave now so I talked a lot of rubbish about taking opportunities and grabbing life.

I probably talk far too much, I am not shy in coming forward with my opinions and I do like my freedom and independence. I am never the easy option.