Fragility

 I just had to check that fragility was actually a word. It is.
I'm calling my post that today because you often don't realise how fragile something is until it isn't there any more. This month has been tough. I'm writing this at 3.40pm on a Thurs pm. I ought to be at work. I'm not. I've just been signed off for a month. This was a compromise. The doctor wanted me to be off for two.
My immune system is pretty shocking at the moment and I've come down with all sorts. I know that there are many factors contributing to this. Mainly it is my job.
I've been secure and happy there for a long time and am the first to say that my job keeps me sane when all else is going wrong.
I don't have that now and it is remarkable how quickly that has had an effect on my health. My health is more fragile than I thought. My doctor said in mocking tones- 'you're a bit of a wreck, aren't you?'
I'm off with amongst other things; a nasty ear and chest infection and some kind of skin bug. Yuk. I feel revolting. Revolting in that I feel unwell and that I have a skin bug.
Urlgh. See I KNEW the blisters were NOT ok.
 My body and brain have reached a point now where they have decided enough is enough. I don't seem to be able to deal with any more emotional trauma and this month there has been A LOT of it. Some of it was expected, some was not.
Fortunately, my boss was quite understanding and has wished me well and intends not to send me home work to do over the next four weeks.
Some of my friends are being great too. They know who they are. 

Also proving to be very fragile this month are two of our family cats. One we said goodbye to on Sunday. Another we have bid our goodbyes today. She is off to the vet soon and she won't be coming home. We are very sad. Very recently, the two of them seemed fine. Old and showing signs of age, but not sick like this week.

So what do I intend to do about it?
Well I now have a month. The first thing I began doing was looking for pastures new with regards to my job. I've signed up to various sites that are education based and I will be mailed suitable jobs. But I've been looking further afield too. I also applied for a job yesterday which is not related to school at all, but one of my other passions. In my own over used words, 'we'll see!'
I'm disappointed in this post as I always intend to keep an upbeat tone and it's not been so obvious recently. I need some very big changes again in my life.


For the rest of today I will be watching crap on TV, reading trashy mags and novels and picking up the rest of my very long prescription if I can muster up the energy.

R and R for me then.
And RIP for my pussy cats. We love you very much!