A Price on Love

I haven't written for ages. I made a promise to myself and to this blog not to mention a subject I'd been ranting on about since September.
Since then, there has been little else to talk about. Until this January and February.

January was good. I no longer have to enter Mordor which was excellent news! I have no wish to break my promise and linger on this topic but though my future looks unclear, I'm so relieved to be out of that situation.

It was also a month of a very enjoyable fling with a man I've fancied for years- we went out about ten years ago the first time but it never went anywhere. Disappointingly I found out I could have had him years before that even......but there you go.
There was a brief moment where I realised that my books on 'Getting Pregnant Faster' were probably not what a man wants to see when you've brought him home for the night for the first time! I'm fortunate we're both Gemini and can both talk for Britain and he missed them. I managed to throw red wine all over his white duvet cover so I'm also fortunate our friendship goes back so many years. That and the alcohol consumption...............

This month I've been to Oslo with my sister which was a real roller coaster of emotion. Not because of the holiday, but the news I had the second I turned my mobile on after the flight. My ex had sent a text asking if my cat was missing. Odd I thought and replied that he was not. My mum was to feed him while we were away for 4 days. Then I listened to my voice messages and the world went into horrid slow motion time and I felt like I was detached from everything around me. The vet had rung to say my cat had been hit by a car. Badly. It didn't sound good.

The next few hours were spent making phone calls to family,ex and vets. His diaphragm was in bits and stomach lining damaged, internal organs all up in his chest and he was in shock.
To cut a long story short, he's making a great recovery and will be spending the next week and a half under house arrest while he heals. I'm eternally grateful to the vets who saved his life and the lady who brought him in after he'd been left for dead by the arsehole who hit him.

What was great was that my family and my ex had all agreed and told the vet when they could not reach me that they should go ahead with treatment and that there was no particular limit to what I'd spend to get him better. He might not love me like I love him but his health is my priority. There is no price on love.
It's also been an interesting time because they say everything happens for a reason. If you'd asked me last Tuesday what the reason for this was- I'd have thought you mad. Just over a week later and my cat is being as affectionate as he was as a kitten, sitting on my lap and joining me while I have my bath, trying to claw my toes. It's been 3 years since he did that. The other thing is that I've had two or three reasonable and even friendly conversations with my ex and he even visited this week and for the first time since we split, we managed to spend an hour in each other's company without a cross/unpleasant word.
Don't get me wrong, with Valentine's Day around the corner, I am not hoping for a rekindling of our love- nothing could be further from my mind! But it would be nice to have a reasonable relationship for the sake of our animals. What a good job we never had children.

A friend of mine is currently suffering from stress which is affecting her health to a huge degree. She is trying to find a educational placement for her son and people seem determined to throw a spanner in the works at every available opportunity. For her and her husband is it a constant battle to get anyone to understand their unique situation. And despite the fact they are bending over backwards to provide information, time and help, they are being discredited every step of the way. The price of love- she wants the best for him and for him to be happy, even if it's affecting her health and sleep so badly. I'm encouraging her to trust herself and her plans to home educate- she'd be fantastic!
The sacrifices we make for love.

Holidays

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
I am booked on a holiday. I can tick that off the list, even though I have to travel in stupid married name.
I am off to Istanbul for a few days in April, courtesy of my sister and her excellent freebies.
I am really looking forward to it. It's in my travel book as one of the 'must-see places'. I am a little spoilt with holidays now having been on some fairly great ones in the last two years. Istanbul makes the grade though.

So now I know where and when I'm going, the next thing is packing. It will surprise you to learn I make lists for packing too. One holiday I went on, I packed two cases so carefully so that if one went missing, there would still be EVERYTHING I needed in the other. But what I pack in the way of clothes is usually CRAP.

I pack things imagining I will wear them, but never do and end up hand washing the same things for the duration of the holiday. So for all my lists, I may as well just throw random crap into the case and worry about it when I am there, instead of being meticulous about it beforehand and hating everything on arrival. This time the weather will be pretty similar to UK so although I KNOW this, I am still looking at my Summer clothes and wondering what to take. Idiot.

On my last holiday I bought two new dresses specifically for two evenings out and wore neither. One was too small after all the mojitos I had drunk during the week and the other I decided was too OTT and I went for trousers instead. Money well spent.

Holidays are about new experiences. I had a few holidays with my ex and hated his attitude that a holiday was about sitting on your backside in a non descript area drinking and smoking. He sometimes wouldn't get up until the early afternoon. Some people might like this sort of holiday. Not me. I have paid to be away from my usual surroundings..I'd like to see somewhere new. I want to see the sights, go places and try things. I will sit and have a drink in the evening when the sun is going down. Before then...forget it.

On holiday I like to try some food I don't normally eat but this has backfired on me too. I tried some odd yogurty thing in a restaurant in Dubai because it was unusual sounding (it was my first night there). I thought, I will be adventurous and try new things....in reality it was inedible. I also suffered badly in the Maldives with some spicy food. I somehow managed to get dysentry a few years ago and as well as the many joys that brings, you get left with permanent bowel scarring which can mean rich/spicy food is OUT.

What I REALLY dislike though is eating the same old rubbish you eat at home when you can embrace the flavours of another country. A child I know recently told me about the great burger bar he spends all his time in on holiday in Greece. I felt so sad.

The last three holidays I went on, I had NO desire to come home. I know this is normal but I REALLY did not want to come home from the last one, to the point I applied for- and got a job there. Turned it down though. Won't work.
It's part of the magic of holidays. Escapism.
It wouldn't be the same to live there. I will have to have that big lottery win so I can live a holiday lifestyle everyday. I wonder if I'll want to move to Istanbul in a few weeks time.

So where next? Where shall I go after this holiday? I have 3 of the places in my travel book ticked off, soon to be 4. Only another 300 pages to go.