When doubt is banished, abundance flourishes and anything is possible.

How quickly you - and by you, I mean of course, me - can go from a mood of happiness and contentment to feeling that your life has gone so way off track, you fear you may end up somewhere not good.

The weeble picture is because that's me.
Today I'm feeling like this but it won't last.
I'll bounce back, I always do.
Weebles wobble but they don't fall down.

I know what it is I want out of life. I want the sort of lifestyle where frequent travel is possible, where I never worry over bills, where I can shop without guilt - (within reason) and enjoy a good social life. I want a Tesco Finest life and not a Tesco Value life basically. I used to use this analogy about my father who is definitely a 'no frills Dad' i.e haven't seen him in years and he has no clue when it's my birthday. A girl I used to work with definitely had a 'Finest' Dad.
I digress, but the analogy is fitting here too.

I am the same about my personal life. I have done the Value option and now it's nothing but Finest for me. So many people get this bit wrong, me included, but I intend not to again. A friend of mine came to stay at the weekend and said that it had been noted that someone we know had been writing flirty stuff on my FB page and that she hoped that nothing would come of this! Without going into details about said person who had been flirting...there is NO CHANCE. Personal hygiene aside, I know I want someone who can pay for his weekly shopping without a five finger discount.

However, I am cheered by the sun this week and the lighter evenings which are always good and mean the SAD lamp can go away for another few months, but I want things to look up a bit more.
The title of this blog is another quote I've stolen - this time from Wayne Dyer I believe. It's the whole 'universe' thing again, yes boring, aren't I? But it's a VERY hard piece of advice to follow. Doubt is battling its way into my thoughts big style today and I'd rather it did not. The quote continues thus; "even when nothing seems to indicate that you're accomplishing what you desire in your life, refuse to entertain doubt."
I am trying Wayne, I am!
I am also cheered by the fact that I have not had to sleep with ear plugs all week to drown out the inane ramblings of my neighbours boyfriend who will compare himself to Ronaldo and has one volume - VERY LOUD.

A thought has just occurred to me. I wonder if my mood is not all about dissatification but is in fact caffeine withdrawal as I haven't had any Diet Coke in 5 days?

Holidays

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
I am booked on a holiday. I can tick that off the list, even though I have to travel in stupid married name.
I am off to Istanbul for a few days in April, courtesy of my sister and her excellent freebies.
I am really looking forward to it. It's in my travel book as one of the 'must-see places'. I am a little spoilt with holidays now having been on some fairly great ones in the last two years. Istanbul makes the grade though.

So now I know where and when I'm going, the next thing is packing. It will surprise you to learn I make lists for packing too. One holiday I went on, I packed two cases so carefully so that if one went missing, there would still be EVERYTHING I needed in the other. But what I pack in the way of clothes is usually CRAP.

I pack things imagining I will wear them, but never do and end up hand washing the same things for the duration of the holiday. So for all my lists, I may as well just throw random crap into the case and worry about it when I am there, instead of being meticulous about it beforehand and hating everything on arrival. This time the weather will be pretty similar to UK so although I KNOW this, I am still looking at my Summer clothes and wondering what to take. Idiot.

On my last holiday I bought two new dresses specifically for two evenings out and wore neither. One was too small after all the mojitos I had drunk during the week and the other I decided was too OTT and I went for trousers instead. Money well spent.

Holidays are about new experiences. I had a few holidays with my ex and hated his attitude that a holiday was about sitting on your backside in a non descript area drinking and smoking. He sometimes wouldn't get up until the early afternoon. Some people might like this sort of holiday. Not me. I have paid to be away from my usual surroundings..I'd like to see somewhere new. I want to see the sights, go places and try things. I will sit and have a drink in the evening when the sun is going down. Before then...forget it.

On holiday I like to try some food I don't normally eat but this has backfired on me too. I tried some odd yogurty thing in a restaurant in Dubai because it was unusual sounding (it was my first night there). I thought, I will be adventurous and try new things....in reality it was inedible. I also suffered badly in the Maldives with some spicy food. I somehow managed to get dysentry a few years ago and as well as the many joys that brings, you get left with permanent bowel scarring which can mean rich/spicy food is OUT.

What I REALLY dislike though is eating the same old rubbish you eat at home when you can embrace the flavours of another country. A child I know recently told me about the great burger bar he spends all his time in on holiday in Greece. I felt so sad.

The last three holidays I went on, I had NO desire to come home. I know this is normal but I REALLY did not want to come home from the last one, to the point I applied for- and got a job there. Turned it down though. Won't work.
It's part of the magic of holidays. Escapism.
It wouldn't be the same to live there. I will have to have that big lottery win so I can live a holiday lifestyle everyday. I wonder if I'll want to move to Istanbul in a few weeks time.

So where next? Where shall I go after this holiday? I have 3 of the places in my travel book ticked off, soon to be 4. Only another 300 pages to go.