Avoiding the News

I would probably be widely criticised for my practice of avoiding the TV news. I get snippets of the news from work, the radio and online, but in general I avoid news broadcasting. I find it to be a depressing and upsetting way to spend my time. As I am one of life's worriers, particularly about things which are beyond my control, I began avoiding it. There are some who think this is a good idea and those who think I am daft and a further group who make no comment.

Very little of what I see on the TV news makes me feel happy. I spent a long time being unhappy in the last decade and I do not wish to continue this pattern.

I know that while I shut this out of my life, the bad things in the world do not go away, but I avoid them upsetting me. Criticise if you will, but it is my choice.There is also a school of thinking that when you concentrate on negative things, you bring more to you. 

Mother Theresa once said;

"I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there."

I think that is eloquent. 

However, it does mean I am unable to contribute to discussions about things elsewhere in the world. I did watch the icelandic volcano coverage, but only because it directly affected someone I knew.

I was messaged during the first live election debate to make sure I was watching it...I wasn't, and was told off by the person who'd messaged. I did watch though and it was a good idea. I do need to know who to vote for. I can read as much as I like during the next few days before the election, but to see these 3 men talking about things I care about is the only way to make an informed decision.

At work next week, we're holding our own election and talking about democracy. We'll be talking about matters of interest to the children and setting up a ballot.

I am probably a total hypocrite to tell them they need to take an interest in all this when I am just like the ostrich. I put my head in the sand.

When doubt is banished, abundance flourishes and anything is possible.

How quickly you - and by you, I mean of course, me - can go from a mood of happiness and contentment to feeling that your life has gone so way off track, you fear you may end up somewhere not good.

The weeble picture is because that's me.
Today I'm feeling like this but it won't last.
I'll bounce back, I always do.
Weebles wobble but they don't fall down.

I know what it is I want out of life. I want the sort of lifestyle where frequent travel is possible, where I never worry over bills, where I can shop without guilt - (within reason) and enjoy a good social life. I want a Tesco Finest life and not a Tesco Value life basically. I used to use this analogy about my father who is definitely a 'no frills Dad' i.e haven't seen him in years and he has no clue when it's my birthday. A girl I used to work with definitely had a 'Finest' Dad.
I digress, but the analogy is fitting here too.

I am the same about my personal life. I have done the Value option and now it's nothing but Finest for me. So many people get this bit wrong, me included, but I intend not to again. A friend of mine came to stay at the weekend and said that it had been noted that someone we know had been writing flirty stuff on my FB page and that she hoped that nothing would come of this! Without going into details about said person who had been flirting...there is NO CHANCE. Personal hygiene aside, I know I want someone who can pay for his weekly shopping without a five finger discount.

However, I am cheered by the sun this week and the lighter evenings which are always good and mean the SAD lamp can go away for another few months, but I want things to look up a bit more.
The title of this blog is another quote I've stolen - this time from Wayne Dyer I believe. It's the whole 'universe' thing again, yes boring, aren't I? But it's a VERY hard piece of advice to follow. Doubt is battling its way into my thoughts big style today and I'd rather it did not. The quote continues thus; "even when nothing seems to indicate that you're accomplishing what you desire in your life, refuse to entertain doubt."
I am trying Wayne, I am!
I am also cheered by the fact that I have not had to sleep with ear plugs all week to drown out the inane ramblings of my neighbours boyfriend who will compare himself to Ronaldo and has one volume - VERY LOUD.

A thought has just occurred to me. I wonder if my mood is not all about dissatification but is in fact caffeine withdrawal as I haven't had any Diet Coke in 5 days?

The Workplace

I watched Office Space a couple of weeks ago. I watched it with family who work in offices and they sat round commenting on how their work was just like that.
How depressing. I sat watching it thinking, 'my workplace is NOTHING like this'.

At my workplace we never have a dreary version of Happy Birthday round a cake that we share with people we don't like.
Today is my bosses 60th birthday. I spent last night filling her office with balloons, butterflies, fairy lights and banners. There is confetti EVERYWHERE and this afternoon we're having a massive party where I hear there will be a giant jelly cat. It will be fun.
So I don't work in an office, and do in fact work in a school, but nonetheless, it's always nice to hold a proper celebration for birthdays.
I wore fairy wings on my 30th at work. And last year our secretary had a Bear Grylls themed 40th birthday and her office was a jungle. We played Bearngo (bingo with Bear theme) and all day she found random plastic insects in her printer, drawers and anywhere we had hidden them. I got her a Survival Kit which I'm sure she finds useful on a daily basis and I hand made all her jungle themed party bags too.

So it's later on the 21st now. We had an English Country Garden themed tea party. There were cucumber sandwiches with no crusts, bunting, crisps and sausage rolls and jelly. We listened to 'Bananas in Pyjamas' and other such classics. We played pass the parcel, the Queen of Sheba and other silly games. It was a lot of fun.

I don't think things would be any different if there were no children in my workplace, we'd still do all this. Well, maybe not the games but we'd certainly still have themed rooms and a lot of genuine fuss made of birthday girl or boy!
Everyone I work with is great and throw themselves into the fun.

Today is a happy blog about why I love my job, love my workplace and love my colleagues. A day for gratitude.

There is still no cure for the common birthday.

That is not my quote...I have stolen it.
This week I've been on holiday. It was breezy on a few of the days so to avoid looking totally dreadful, I put my hair up. This was not good. I discovered a horrifying number of grey hairs. Truly Horrifying.
They don't even hide in my dark hair, they are shining and silver and catch the light in a mean spirited way.
When I used to find them, I'd pull them out and pretend it had not happened. Now it has reached a point where I will be bald at the end of 2010 if I pull them out. My hair appointment to colour it is in three weeks, so until then, I will be wearing my hair loose and experimenting with styles which do not reveal my silver hair.

Today I also put my holiday pictures up on Facebook. There is more than one picture where I am looking distinctly 'craggy' around my eyes.
Neither of these two things please me. I am getting older.

Increasingly I  find I am not able to do the things I used to be able to do. I am sure if I had worked harder on my physical fitness etc, this would not be the case, but I have not. I am far less 'bouncy and springy' than I used to be. I also have 'fear'. When I was younger I would climb trees, jump off high things, go on scary rides and take risks.
My last trip to Alton Towers was pathetic. I queued for well over an hour for RITA, the silly fast roller coaster. I got into the seat, was almost locked in....and then I bottled it and got off much to the horror of my friend who I left in there!

My footwear is indicative of my age and being more 'sensible'. Over half of my shoes are now flats...this was never the case 10 years ago! Gone are the days of being on 4 inch heels all night. I will bring along a pair of flats to put on later when my feet die of pain.
And gone is the concept of 'all night'. It is nothing short of a miracle if I am still out on a Saturday night after 11pm. Usually the call of my bed is too strong. And I cannot take anything like the amount of alcohol I used to. Two glasses of wine now and I'm being too loud or falling asleep. Not alluring.

On Saturday nights out 10 years ago, I'd be loudly singing the theme tune to The Littlest Hobo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFZKlfRrGbw&feature=related
on my way to the local nightclub.....there's a voice that keeps on callin' me...down the road, that's where I'll always be... as we merrily stumbled down the road in silly high shoes and something very low cut  for ANOTHER night of dancing and drinking til the early hours.
This is now a hideous idea to me.

I also find myself saying things that I hated hearing when I was younger. Things like...TV is crap now. "When I was young, they made proper TV for children...now it's all cheap cartoons!"
I do think TV for kids now is utter trash though. Nothing will convince me that the crap they show now is better than Button Moon or Mr Benn.

I roll my eyes at groups of teenage girls in clothes shops who shriek at the 'horror' of having a size 12 in their hands...what a hideous thing to be size 12...how mortifying to have picked it up instead of pre puberty AGE 12 clothing for a a young woman. Ugh.

Well I am going to post this now as it's way past my bedtime and I need to pop my slippers on and read quietly for a while.

Harry Potter's Cloak of Invisibility

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was on yesterday. I make no secret of the fact that I love the films and have read each book cover to cover. I love them. Genius books which have got children and adults alike excited about reading again.
One of the things I LOVE about the books is the wonderful magical objects. In yesterday's film, we saw the Marauder's Map for the first time. This is by far my favourite of J K Rowling's inventions. The map is not static and shows where everyone is at that moment in Hogwarts but will hide its secrets with the words 'mischief managed'. Brilliant. What a wonderful idea.

I also love Harry's Cloak of Invisibilty. So many applications for this in the Muggle world.
Sometimes, unbeknown to me, I apparently have my own cloak of invisibility. I thought about this a little bit today when I saw a neighbour of my mum's who is a particularly nasty and small minded man. To give you an example of just how empty his sad little life is, he noticed when my mum had new tyres. Yes, not new hub caps....tyres.
Anyway, because he is an exceptionally rude and small minded man, and because I hate confrontation, rather than deal with him, both he and I pretend we cannot see each other when I come to visit my mum. We both put on the Cloak of Invisibility. Thus awkward situations are avoided. Today I got to the door, passing him without a glance between us.
I wore this cloak a lot in the run up to my court case. People who had said things about me which were untrue, were suddenly not able to see me in public. They would become engrossed in yogurt choosing or magazine browsing. Sadly, though I was apparently wearing the cloak,  I was unable to sail through the tesco checkouts without paying for my goods.

I am guilty of pretending others are wearing the cloak too. There is a particular man....I have referred to him as a free loading sleazebag in a previous entry...whom I always pretend not to see until there is no possible way I can avoid him any more. I do it to people who have upset members of my family too. This, in my opinion is the 'grown up' way of dealing with it, rather than pick a fight.
In my youth, I'd imagine what I'd do for a day if I was invisible. I don't give much thought now to what I'd do with this particular gift in my 30's. I am pretty sure I would not be up to any good though.
If I was clever and knew how to do it, I should transfer lots of money into my account, or delete my debts. Perhaps I'd give myself a payrise, lower my rent, have my ex suddenly finding he was on America's Most Wanted list?
However, I am a 30 something with a child like brain and an infantile habit of ignoring those I don't like, whilst getting annoyed that they ignore me!

Moral Dilemmas

In my email inbox this evening there is a request from a friend.
The request is to write a testimonial for her for a local business organisation. I have a dilemma.
I do wish her well in her venture and hope that she can eventually make a living from what she has chosen (and I encouraged her) to do.
However, I have a problem. She wants me to comment on her work. I have always avoided this to the very best of my ability, whilst still remaining supportive.
My reason for this being, she cannot spell. Her grammar is not great either. Her webpage is full of spelling errors, punctuation and grammar errors too. I feel that anyone who has enough money to spend on her services would not do so when they saw the site. I would not have faith in someone working on my behalf, communicating for me, who cannot spell.
I dare say there are plenty of mistakes in my blog. But it's my blog and I don't seek customers from it.
She does with her site.
I have a real dilemma. I want to be helpful but I cannot put my name to a testimonial when I think her work is not tight enough. I have considered telling her before but I never have. It would not go down well, even though my intention is to help not hurt. I know this makes me sound like a terrible person but I would not ask someone to rate my work unless I was 100% sure it was the very best and had had it checked and checked again.
I'm sure I cannot be the only one who has noticed this. I wonder if I am the only one who is being hesitant about adding a testimonial. I am wondering how I can write one which comments only on the graphic content of her work and not the written.
I hope I will know what the right thing to do is very soon. At the moment I am struggling with this dilemma.