Some recent gems

Today at work we were using the Argos catalogue for something fun as a maths lesson alternative. In the index it said St Christophers. I explained to one of my class what it was.
He seemed to understand and then began to tell me about St George.
"St George didn't kill a dragon, he killed someone dressed up as a dragon."
"Did he?"
"Yes."
"Well there you go."

I am grateful for the wisdom of my class.

I was asked the other day at register time; "What is that bone on you?"
I replied that it was my collar bone-
Small children are fairly useless at hiding when they are mildly horrified by something. I don't carry weight in that area of my body.

Instinct is when you just KNOW

Yesterday I listened to 4 of my class read the same book, one after the other practically. Fortunately it was not too dull. It was about tigers. A word which popped up was 'instinct' and because they're clever and have a good teacher, they used the glossary to look it up.
We talked about the fact it's when you just KNOW something, you're not told.
I should trust mine more.
My neighbour tried to panic monger the other day by telling me he thought my cat's collar was too tight. I said- didn't you take it off him then? I pointed out the fact that he sees my cat far more than I do and that I had not seen him in 2 weeks. His partner then said- 'I'm sure it's alright, he seems to be able to eat ok'
OH MY GOD!
So I am left standing there, trying not to hyperventilate with thoughts of my small strangulated cat wandering the village, slowly starving. I should have trusted my instincts. He came in this morning at 3am, miaowed and I got up, checked his collar and fed him. The collar is perfect. It has not moved. I have taken it off anyway. It was to discourage people putting their own on him, which happened once. I trust that the little ginger man will come home every so often so I'll check he's collar free when he does.

My instinct told me a few weeks ago, the school inspector was an arse. Before he came, we had our pre visit calls. Amongst many other demands, he asked for "a platter of mixed sandwiches". I was quite outspoken (not like me) about the fact that he seemed to think he was Elton John giving us his rider. I was told that he was a nice man and not to pre judge.
Some weeks later, I was right. He is an arse.

First impressions are often correct. Very often correct.
I've made this mistake before, decided I don't like someone on first impressions, then been convinced to give them the benefit of the doubt. In one case, this was a MASSIVE error.
When you go to someone's home for the first time and they
a) don't offer you a drink/seat etc and then b) offer everyone except you a doughnut, you are not mistaken in the fact that this person is a malicious cow.
When some years later they begin bombarding you with imtimidatory text messages telling you that you only give people the time of day if they have a degree and that you look down your nose at all and sundry, and that they intended to give your mother a hard time, but had been prevented, you can sit back, satisfied that your first impressions were correct.

What I often do, apparently to my detriment, is be quite harsh on people in the early stages of meeting.
I never liked a friend of my ex. Every time I saw him he would make some comment about how it was good to see me washing up/cooking/cleaning as that's what I should be doing as the little woman. I let this go a while, asked the ex to have a word, which he didn't. This friend came to the house where I live now. He came only once. It went a little like this;
Idiot- Ah there you are, washing up, good to see,
Me - Do you know, that is all you ever say to me?
This is MY house, I work full time and I pay ALL the bills.
I'm a bit sick of you speaking to me like that and actually I won't have it in my own home anymore.
He never came back - shame.I missed the misogynistic gems.

Today I am going to meet the woman who may be my boss in September. I will go on my first impressions and will hope that the interview panel does the same. For us staff, we are to enjoy a breakfast meeting this morning to get to know her. We'll see.

The Many Joys of Facebook

 I love Facebook. I really do. It allows me to keep up with the everyday goings on of people I like - and those I am not so interested in. I can keep up to date with the news without actually switching on the TV via some media savvy friends.
Other FB joys are efforts to 'out-status' everyone else. Today I like this one ; F**k wasps are stupid! The door is open you stripey f**kwit! My own status updates vary enormously from the mundane 'I love the sunshine' to writing self motivating stuff in latin (the latin I stole from a friend). It tends to sort the wheat from the chaff.  
This is as amusing as I get; 
Camellia will be spending the rest of this crappy wet grey day; running, tidying and then reading. Oh the excitement of my early 30's.

What I don't like at all is the mindless groups who begin some hate campaign and the less well informed of the Facebook society all click on JOIN or LIKE without ever actually visiting the page and seeing what's on there. I refer particularly to the groups that have popped up since the Sun printed the headline Bid to ban England tops in World Cup pubs. Well done The Sun.
Now Facebook is crawling with racist pages claiming that the 'foreigners should f**k off' etc etc. It makes me very angry and very sad that I live in a place where this is clearly rife. What irritates me greatly too, is the number of people on my own friend list who have clicked 'join'. I ummed and ahhed about this for a while and wondered what to do about it. I posted lots of  'this is a hoax' type stuff and then decided to cull these people from my list. Some of them I'm fairly sick of reading about anyway. If I read 'pmsl' once more from one girl, I swear I will go out and get her some Tena Lady myself.

For my own part, I am in various groups, two of which I set up myself. One of them is about locating my cat in the village, the other is about Vernon Burgess;
http://www.bbc.co.uk/hardchristmas/toughseason/skint.shtml
I am also a member of 'If one million people join, God will bring back the dinosaurs' in honour of all the daft groups in same vein.
I also enjoy the 'cut and paste' status updates. As a friend of mine put it, rather than waste time pasting this daft status, if you really feel strongly about autism/cancer/domestic abuse, put your money where your mouth is. I like this as an alternative ;
Please put this on your status if you know someone who has been eaten by a dragon. My wish for 2010 is that people will understand that being eaten by dragons is not something to be ashamed of. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and are truly terrifying and when people go against them unprepared... there is almost no hope.... 93% won't copy and paste this as they have been eaten by dragons.

For the second time within a week I have posted a BBC news article which says the shirt/flag ban is rubbish but for some on my list, it is too late, they have been sent to Facebook Elysium.

Stuff I feel strongly about.

 I feel happy about how my week has gone at work and happy that my sister made it to Barcelona, despite so many flights being cancelled, that my friend has been offered a new job, happy that next week is the last week before half term so I will have my dog for extra time..etc etc.
But I am also annoyed by what I hear and read about some of the priorities of the new coalition government. It seems very odd to me that they are appointing a minister for hunting and shooting when the big issue should really be our economy. I also find it infuriating that Nick Clegg is so easily bought. He has gone on record to say he is anti hunting and would not seek to lift the ban...yet here he is just days after the election, snuggling up to Cameron with this back-tracking rubbish.
I am a person of priciples and I respect people who are the same. I have none for Clegg.
I am totally anti hunting. I have been a vegetarian for nearly 20 years and I find the idea of repealing the ban, backward and repellent.I have written to my MP to this effect, though it has fallen on pro-hunting deaf ears, I have written to Nick Clegg, and I will continue writing.

There are a few things I feel very strongly about. This is one. I am posting this link in the hope you will come across it and take two minutes of your time to help our wildlife with this simple form.
It will send a letter to your MP and let them know you do not want a lift on the ban. It really is easy and minimal effort.
 http://e-activist.com/ea-campaign/clientcampaign.do?ea.client.id=122&ea.campaign.id=6614&ea.url.id=30056&ea.campaigner.email=T3Y9UQaO53WQxuZqOBx8FqgNZtgXLllLILatnBtoo0w3eyJ2kENVjQ==&ea_broadcast_target_id=0&forwarded=true

Thanks, Camellia xxx

"Could be you’re here because you’re good with words and know the right thing to say at the right time. I know the words to Candle in the Wind. It don't make me Elton John." Sir Alan Sugar

 This week at work I have lost my mind a little and decided to run a project about making profits with small children. We are baking Healthy Snacks to sell at a profit. This way I tick a load of the government's Every Child Matters targets and hopefully we learn lots in a fun way;

• be healthy
• stay safe
• enjoy and achieve
• make a positive contribution
• achieve economic well-being

We did 'market research' to find out what our would be customers wanted, used a vote to pick 4 top ones and this week we're making and selling. The class have had to write to the head for permission, advertise the week, think of a name for our project 'SNACK ATTACK' and then hopefully make some money.
We'll see if I have any budding Sir Alans in the making. I am not convinced yet whether this week will be a success. Today I have missed all break time whilst I have run around like a mad thing checking on cakes, supervised icing and placing into airtight containers. We have discussed how much I have spent on ingredients and that I need that money back or I am out of pocket. We have also discussed that we need to make a profit but that the children in our school need to pay a reasonable amount. I hope this week will be a steep but beneficial learning curve.

 What annoys me intensely about popular culture today is that you can be rich and famous for nothing at all. There is no sense of having worked hard to achieve. Role models are men and women who do very little or at worst have no talent or even redeeming features at all. There is no link made between working hard and having nice things. Not that I think life is about this- clearly I don't. But I do think children need to be aware they will not be handed a nice life on a plate or that it comes with no skills, effort or work. Our society paints a skewed picture. Footballers can behave as abhorrently as they like, without conscience or consequence. My argument here is not that they are not talented, just they are disproportionately paid for what they do- yes I know football earns a HUGE amount of money but it also ruins men. Men who go into it as boys and are given insane wealth and privilege and are actually kids who have no idea how to be responsible adults.
Women must be thin and pretty - and if they are, they can turn their hand to anything; fashion, singing, acting, TV presenting, writing etc. I will get off my soap box now.
Some of the children are already understanding the concept behind our project but others are lagging behind. When the 'icing team' had showed everyone the finished cakes today, one child said, "when are we going to eat them?"
We'll see how the week goes.

My cat loves Whiskers and I love my cat

I just fed my dog. I keep his food with my cat's food and chuckled to myself a bit (because I am sad) at the slogan on the box. My cat loves Whiskers and I love my cat.
This could not be more fitting of my cat. How careful of the Whiskers people not to include - 'My cat loves me'.
No, instead, my cat uses this place like a hotel. He likes to be fed but he couldn't give a crap about me. I love him but this love is not reciprocated. He loves my dog and my mum's dog but not me.
I have not seen him for some days now. I think maybe a week. This is completely normal and I imagine he has spent most of the week two doors away with his best pussy cat chum.
A couple of Summers back, he went missing for the first time for several days. I was beside myself and went out round my village every night calling him. In the end, I made leaflets and delivered them with the help of my family, to the whole village in order that I locate my beloved cat. The response was great and within hours I had him home and discovered that he'd spent the last 9 days over the alottments hunting. He was skinny so I kept him in for a few days. He is now one of the best known cats in the village. It amuses me when people walk by a ginger cat and say- 'Is that Frodo?'
Since then this has become his pattern. He is an outdoor cat and I rarely see him. I do see him when he wants feeding and he will come in, miaow loudly for his breakfast, even if he wakes me up, eat and leave. Maybe I should not have given him the name of a hobbit from the 'fellowship of the ring' - perhaps he was predestined to be a wanderer.
My mum summed up my cat last night when she left my house after our dog walk;
"I hope the shitmeister turns up this weekend".
I take offence but she is correct. He has no feelings of love towards me, but I do love my cat and when he wakes me at half past five, I will continue to feed him Whiskers.

Victoria est mei!

My rant on Monday paid off. I am so relieved and starting to feel a bit better about my work situation.
Really kicking off and leaving people with no doubt about my feelings and the course of action I wanted taken, have paid dividends.
What I wanted done with a proposed letter was done, and the changes I wanted made, were made. I am very pleased, both for myself and for my colleagues - justice. I also had it confirmed by someone I respect from high up that I am as good as I think I am at my job. I also had it stated that if this were not the correct judgement in the first place, the changes to this letter would not have been made - something that apparently NEVER happens and means he got it wrong and he knows it.
Pussy cat I may be, but I do get my way......mostly. 
So this news has been good medicine.

What I'm not so thrilled about is my knees. I wanted to be in training most of this week so that I can do this run on Sunday in half an hour- not really fast, but not shameful either. My knees have decided otherwise and I will most likely be wearing very attractive knee supports and consuming giant green horse tablets of chondroitin and glucosamine. It's a good job fun runners don't get drug tested- I'd rattle my way in to the testing centre. I wonder why my body must fight my attempts at serious fitness. First shin splints and now the knee thing. This came on last Summer when I began to hear a worrying 'velcro' sound in one and then both knees. I was told to strengthen the muscles in my legs around the knee with weights - which I did. Now this issue is back. Grrrrr.
But I shouldn't moan. A friend of mine spent half her school life on crutches. We barely recognised her without them. She injures herself less now but it really was quite ridiculous for a while.
 
In other news, I wait to see what will happen with the very odd coalition between progressive left wingers and traditionalist right wingers in our country. It doesn't seem a popular decision. I watched Cameron drive from Buckingham Palace to Downing Street while Nick Robinson assured us the crowds were cheering.
Jeering maybe. As he made his speech, David Cameron's wife looked nervous - hardly surprising with loud taunts of 'Tory Scum' from the crowd.
He talked about the difficult times ahead and how he intended to work with Nick Clegg and the Liberal Democrats. What an odd alliance this will be and how long will it 'work'?

 But as he stepped inside No.10 and closed the door behind him, Cameron must have felt a little bit of my victoria est mei, even if it hasn't gone quite as he had hoped.

Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!

Wow, I don't remember the last time I was this angry. I always say I don't do angry and that is true...ask my mum!
I have been thinking about this lately and discussing a bit with others. My temper that is. I don't have much of one. Feisty, yes, but I'm not an angry person. I get upset and cry when things go wrong. I'm a delicate flower, a pussy cat.
Tonight I lost my temper. I think I swore in front of the local vicar and I banged my bag down on the table in rage. Not pretty.

I have made a promise to myself that I won't live with anger again- in my personal life. When I did, it made me a shadow of myself and made me miserable. One day I had enough and realised I was scared of my own partner and asked him to leave. I cannot explain how different my home felt afterwards- it was quite remarkable, tangible even. I have never regretted that decision.

If my poxy knees weren't giving me loads of trouble again I'd be out running off the anger. As it is, I'm blogging and then I'm going to read my new book. I just bought 59 seconds and I have to start 5 days of writing about things that have been good this week. I am ignoring school, and instead concentrating on my running, improving fitness and the wonderful people who have sponsored our Race for Life so far!

Ooh, did I mention I LOVE Ed Norton? I do. He is great!

Being a doormat

Well it took me a week, but I have now responded to the person who let me down. There was much flustering and trying to dig herself out of ever increasing hole and suggestions that I misinterpreted 'context'. I quoted her directly and pointed out that I thought that pretty much did set the context.
I am becoming myself again. I never used to be a doormat, then had a few years of it, now I'm back and it's how I should be. I don't shout or lose my temper but I make sure my feelings are known.

This week a man sent me a text message asking how I was and what I'd been up to so naively I answered and said I'd been to Istanbul, got my dog back, applied for and turned down an overseas job etc etc.
He replied- 'I meant guys.'
Nice- how much more clearly can you say - I don't care what you've been up to, I only care if I still stand a chance?
I gave him my Tesco analogy to which he replied 'LOL you're too fussy! I am an ALDI man- good value but you know what you're getting'
Idiot.
I then ignored following messages until he wrote 'so do I stand a chance?'
No.
His final message was 'remember you deserve a good man'.
Ummmm yes, I know - evidently that was my point.
People will always surprise you, for good or for bad...

So, returning to my earlier issue; I would like it on record that in a silent building, but for a room of people having a meeting, wooden doors are not soundproof and I do not have WELCOME stamped all over my arse.

Narnia

 When I moved to my current home, I showed everyone around and saved the best bit til last. The best bit being my wardrobe. My bedroom is not huge but it does have an excellent wardrobe. I stood by the doors and my sister asked.."Is it Narnia?" at which point I opened the doors to reveal my decently sized walk in wardrobe with shelving to the ceiling, a shoe rack and double rail for clothes.
OH, it's better than Narnia!" she gasped. And it is.

When I moved here, I was not alone and shared this wardrobe...I reckon I had about 60% of it and would squash up my clothes to accomodate his crap. I often tried to hide my new purchases too which was retarded and unnecessary as it was my bloody money. Anyway, now I have it all to myself and it's a little bit bursting at the seams. Whoops.

The other day at work we discussed where we might like to go for a staff trip and treat. We came up with 5 ideas to please everyone. We can dream, but here they are;

• Ladies Day at Ascot
• The Ballet at the Royal Opera House
• Dinner at Heston's Fat Duck restaurant in Bray
• Afternoon Tea at the Ritz (I've done this once already...it is most pleasant)
• Go Ape - some staff members not so keen as me on this! 

We discussed the need for new outfits for most of these occasions and one of my colleagues looked at me laughing and said...
"You? You have more clothes than anyone I know...you MUST have something!"
True enough I have already bought and dismissed an outfit for a friend's wedding in July, knowing that I simply MUST have a new dress from Coast rather than something I have owned for a few weeks.
I am then quizzed about whether I fill up the charity bags that come through the door...yes I do, on a regular basis, but then I restock! I defend myself by saying that I rarely drink, I do not smoke, and have few vices but this. I was asked recently how many pairs of shoes I own. I think it's 40. I think that's fine and in fact quite modest. But it is true that I forget what I own in the way of clothes and have lovely moments of rediscovering things when I'm putting the odd item into a charity sack.

Crimes I AM guilty of are;

• Wearing a pair of £150 shoes twice in 5 year period. 
• Finding the 'perfect' item and buying in bulk
• Coveting items- giving myself a 'next month you can have it -rule' then buying it the next day. 

At university my shoe habit was worse. I had a part time job in a shoe shop where I'd put coveted items aside til pay day. I had a daft amount of shoes for a student and my flatmates would laugh that had so many Saturday night shoes but couldn't afford to go out on a Saturday night. I cared not. 
I am of course guilty of a crime far worse than the above though. I am ALWAYS ALWAYS moaning that I have NOTHING to wear...I will be the same tomorrow for work. On a Sunday I move about things I think I'd like to re-air that week...then never do because I have NOTHING to wear.

Oh dear God, I have just looked at the Coast page....whoops.

Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix

 I'm doing my weeble bit today. I'm bouncing back from last week's disappointment and feelings of being undervalued.

I'm making plans for my future and possibly doing something that's a bit risky. If I can do these things, I will never regret them but it's the how.

I am looking into gaining BSL Level 1 which I've wanted to do for years. Today I mailed the college that runs the course to send me the info. I'm also going to try and take a Biology A Level so that someday I can do a second degree. This time in Marine Biology, something I'm becoming increasingly interested in. People I love and respect whom I have spoken to today about my plans have been really supportive which helps.

I think this is not too knee jerk and both are positive. Yes I'm nearly 33 but no reason why I can't do something brand new! I looked at Marine Biology degree courses too and they looked great. I don't know how I'll do it or fund it but I think I'd love it. I just have to sort the sea legs issue then!

I also plan to apply for AST status which I've said I'll do forever but never have.
The other thing I did today was enroll for Race for Life. I started running just a couple of weeks ago and I never thought I'd volunteer to run but I am. My reactions to bad news are never negative for long. I never turn to drink/drugs or playing the field. I hope I will always be this way. Change will always happen and it can be a great thing - a time of rebirth.

A leopard will never change its spots

Today I feel let down. I am hugely disappointed and upset. It does not help that I am exhausted and my Thursday night did not help this. I had to call the police out at 3am Friday morning as there was a nasty domestic going on next door...culminating in him shouting "Do you need an ambulance?"  Arsehole.

Anyway, I am let down and furious. I have not decided what I will do about this yet as I don't wish to be reactionary. I heard something yesterday that I was not meant to hear and it was about me. It was not nice, but more importantly it was untrue.
It was also about my work. I may not be a perfect human being. I may have flaws. I do. I am good at my job. I am very good at my job.
I heard that I needed to embrace creativity and become less 'static'. I am fuming. My work is so beyond static I cannot say. I am so very upset.
Evidently I write in short abrupt sentences when I am upset!

The person saying this was the very person who should have been backing me up and talking about my very creative work. They did not. Walls have ears. I have not decided yet whether I confront her. I want to. She will be cross I have heard this and try and turn this on me. I will not let her. I think I am the injured party here.
This happened to me several years ago. I was not backed up by this person over something I absolutely should have been. I said then I would never trust her again. Leopards do not change their spots. 

A short entry, but I am still debating my response and my reaction. But rest assured there will be one.